Welcome Letter

Welcome to the Divorce Recovery Academy

This program and support group is not about just surviving your divorce.
It’s not about just “making the best” of the rest of your life.

It’s about life transformation.

Transformation means a RADiCAL life change.

Your divorce has happened or is soon to happen.  You can’t do one thing to change that now …
But you can use it as a starting point to create a life you’re proud of going forward.

You have to grieve your losses.
You may have to sob.  (If you’re honest you probably have.)
You may have to scream out on the open road.

But then, you eventually have to figure out, “WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?”
The truth is, there is no limit to where you can go from here:

  • Physically
  • Intellectually
  • Socially
  • Financially
  • Spiritually

The key is learning and growing and truly appreciating THIS AMAZING GIFT OF LIFE!

Regardless of what you think now about A Higher Power, or God or whatever that entity is that is beyond the surface of things, use this time to explore those deeper issues of your existence.  That is especially important when the surface stuff seems to be falling apart. God (Spirit, Higher Power) means we’re all part of an amazing spiritual (cosmic) existence.

We each have something we’re “called” to do regardless of our divorce or any other external circumstance.  We are each born with talents and inner resources to make a positive impact in this world. That’s true even if we’re divorced.  We’re not here to just take up space!

No matter what has happened, life is not to just be endured or slogged through.  It’s not supposed to be just “okay,” either. It’s to embrace and celebrate and share with purpose and joy …. yes, even after divorce!  

Maybe especially after divorce. 

If you live until you’re 80, how many days do you have left?

How many of those days are you going to spend moping around?  Being depressed? Being unsure of yourself? Being worried about things you absolutely cannot change?  Things you cannot control?

How much more time are you going to waste thinking about the past?  What went wrong? Who did what? What you could have done differently —  and better? Why she didn’t think you were enough? Are you going to waste one more minute of your wild, precious life thinking about her new boyfriend or her new house or how much fun she’s having?  

  • Tell me one good thing that happens when you do those things?
  • Does that help you move forward?
  • Does that encourage your kids?
  • Does that inspire your friends?

The journey of divorce recovery is tough.
The grieving is agonizing — but it must be done.
The fear must be faced.
The anger must be expressed.

But then … you must move on!

You must start creating the life you want! The life you deserve!

If your ex-wife has made the choice to leave you and your family, nothing you do or say will change that.  If this divorce is the path she has taken or her actions have demanded … if she refused to work on your marriage … if she wanted someone else …

You must accept that… and say good-bye.

And then become the man you were created to be for the rest of your life… Good, Generous, Fun, Adventurous, Fulfilled and full of joy!

Think about:

  • What is my purpose on this earth?
  • What happens now?
  • What are my kids going to learn from me?
  • How am I going to use the rest of my one and only life?

Am I going to mope around about how lonely I feel?

Am I going to slouch around about how tired and out-of-shape I am?

Strengthen the body you have been given!

Am I going to worry about selling my house or moving to a little apartment? 

Make wherever you are a bright, clean place of laughter and peace and optimism and adventure!

Stop looking at this divorce as a lifelong disaster. Start looking at it as a new opportunity to create the life you want and a better life than ever!

Looking back only causes heartache.  Looking forward is where you are going.  You can make that a positive, happy, satisfying experience.  It is up to you to make that choice and then follow it through.  

Rediscover

  • Who you are
  • What you want
  • What you can do with your life
  • How much fun life can be
  • How much money you can make
  • How much good you can do
  • Whom you can influence for good

Think of this “in-between” time as a Bootcamp!

Just like the Warfighting Handbook of the Marines says, the Nature of War (like the nature of divorce) is:

  • Friction
  • Uncertainty
  • Fluidity
  • Disorder
  • Complexity 
  • Conflict.   

So, like at Bootcamp every morning, you are still going to have to get up and do the stuff that gets you where you want to be.  You’re going to have to do what it takes to get:

  • Physically Strong
  • Mentally Tough
  • Spiritually Grounded

Like going into battle, you’re going to have to spend some time thinking about:

  • Your Objectives
  • Your Priorities
  • Your Focus.  

Say to yourself every single morning … “How can I be an inspiration.  How can I improve myself. How can I create the life I want for myself!”

Remember to be thankful and grateful of all the gifts you have been given!

  • My body
  • My mind
  • My energy
  • My emotions
  • My dreams
  • My heart
  • My money
  • My resources
  • My life
  • This one day.

Open your eyes and look around and within at all the miracles of your life today:

Freedom to choose what to do with your life.
Freedom to serve Something bigger than yourself in this one day.

The only limitations you have are the ones you put on yourself!

During this Divorce Recovery Academy program, we’re going to experience transformation!

This journey is not for wusses.  It’s for men who are willing to sob and scream, throw some things (not AT anyone!) if you need to, and then dry your eyes, put your shoulders back, lift your head up and take control of your future.  It’s for men brave enough use this change for GOOD! It’s having the courage to accept and grab hold of the promises of the life you want and deserve!

Cry if you need to!  Vent if you must! WE’RE ON A JOURNEY OF JOY … A JOURNEY OF CHANGING OUR WORLD FOR GOOD …. A JOURNEY OF LEARNING TO APPRECIATE AND USE AND EXPLORE THIS ONE WILD, CRAZY, AMAZING LIFE WE’VE BEEN GIVEN!

As the sign says as the Marine recruits go through the gate to basic training:

The transformation starts here!

Your RADiCAL new life is about to begin!

RADiCAL = Rising Above Divorce in Confidence And Love.

Let’s get started!  Your new life is waiting!

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